The language you're not speaking

Thursday morning, 6:15 AM. I'm journaling when I click play on a podcast from a fellow 10X coach Kim Guillory talking about "counter-intention"—the invisible beliefs that sabotage what we say we want.

And it hits me:

Reinventing yourself as a business owner is exactly like learning a new language.

I taught English as an additional language for years. The experts know: total immersion is the fastest way to learn a new language. Not books. Not classes. You learn by living in the culture, thinking in the new language, even when it's uncomfortable.

Because you're not just learning words—you're creating a new identity.

That's what becoming a 10X coach requires. I need to immerse myself in the culture of 10X—the people, the materials, the thinking. The longer I stay in this micro-university, the faster I adopt new thinking aligned with my new life.

Later that day, I went to a networking event with another 10X coach. Minesh Baxi talked about the three requirements to break through to success:

1. A burning desire

2. Identity alignment

3. Someone to keep you accountable

Identity alignment. There it was again.

The same lesson, showing up twice in one day.

What This Means for You

If you're a business owner or leader, you're probably dealing with this in a different form:

• Your team isn't "buying in" to the new initiative

• Your managers aren't leading the way you need them to

• Staff are resisting change, defending their limitations

Here's what I learned: they're not resisting the change. They're resisting the new language you're speaking.

This week I worked with university students on mindset. One student was literally fighting for her limitations—"It's not my fault," "I have no control," "I don't believe that."

The problem wasn't her circumstances. Her identity believed the label she'd been given.

You can't teach someone a new language if they won't leave their comfort zone.

As leaders, we think our job is to convince people, get buy-in, make them see our vision. But what if our job is to create an environment where they can immerse themselves in a new way of thinking?

Not by forcing it. By modeling it. By being the water they swim in.

Weekly Tool You Can Use Today: The Immersion Method

Want to shift your team's mindset or communication? Stop trying to teach it. Start creating immersion.

Step 1: Identify the "new language"

What shift are you asking for?

• From "that's not my job" → to "how can I help?"

• From "we tried that before" → to "what could we try differently?"

• From "it's not my fault" → to "here's what I can control"

Step 2: Create immersion

You don't change identity through one training. You change it through repeated exposure.

• Model it yourself - Speak the new language consistently

• Surround them with it - Bring in people who already speak this language

• Make it the water they swim in - Integrate it into every meeting, every one-on-one

Step 3: Protect the immersion

When someone defaults to old language, name it with curiosity: "I noticed we're back to 'that's not my job.' What's making this feel like someone else's responsibility?"

Don't shame them. Create space for the new language to emerge. Celebrate when you hear it, even imperfectly.

Try This Before Next Week

Pick one shift you want to see in your team (from limiting language to empowered language).

This week:

1. Model it yourself in every conversation

2. Name the old language when you see it (with curiosity, not judgment)

3. Celebrate the new language when you hear it

Don't try to teach it. Just immerse them in it.

P.S. If you're ready to immerse yourself in a community that speaks 10X thinking, accountability, and growth—join us at Think Bigger Fridays. Every Friday at 7 AM CST online.

DM me for the link.

Until next week,

Penny Nilsen