Big Conversations Start with Small Questions
This Week’s Mindset Shift for Better Sales & Stronger Relationships
This week’s reflection is inspired by a book I recently started reading — Endless Referrals by Bob Burg. It was recommended by one of my mentors, Minesh Baxi and the first chapter alone highlighted a powerful blind spot many kind, capable business owners and professionals have.
The Blind Spot
They have great products. They genuinely want to help people. But without realizing it, they are leading with the product and using hard sales techniques instead of relationship-based conversations. I can relate, as this used to be my blind spot too, and something I need to keep my awareness on - even today.
The result? Lower sales conversions. Missed opportunities. And potential clients quietly pulling away — not because the service is wrong, but because the approach feels rushed.
The Sales Mindset Shift
Most professionals don’t lose opportunities because their offer is weak. They lose them because they talk about it too soon.
People don’t resist good services. They resist feeling sold to before they feel seen.
A simple shift can change everything:
Instead of: “Here’s what I do.” Try: “What are you working on these days?”
You move from pitching → to connecting. From assumption → to understanding.
Be More Like a Doctor: Diagnose Before You Prescribe
Think of yourself less like a salesperson and more like a trusted professional — like a doctor.
A good doctor doesn’t walk into a room and immediately hand over medication. They ask questions. They listen. They understand symptoms before suggesting a remedy.
Business conversations work the same way.
When we slow down long enough to understand someone’s situation, our ideas and services stop feeling like pitches and start feeling like solutions.
Diagnose first. Prescribe second.
Fact-Finding Before Fixing
Strong networkers stay curious a little longer.
Light fact-finding questions sound like:
“What’s been the biggest challenge lately?”
“What have you tried so far?”
“What’s been working?”
“Where do you usually feel that most — mornings or afternoons?”
Notice what’s not happening:
No pitch
No link
No brochure
No pressure
Just conversation. Just understanding. And that’s where trust forms.
A Simple “Go-Giver vs Go-Taker” Reflection
Go-Taker mindset: “How can this person help me right now?”
Go-Giver mindset: “How can I help this person move one step forward today?”
This doesn’t mean never talking about your services. It means earning the right to talk about them through relationship first.
Quick Dialogue Example – Hard Sell vs Collaborative
Scenario: Meeting someone new at a networking event
Version 1 – Hard Sales Approach
Person A: Hi, nice to meet you. What do you do?
Person B: I’m a marketing consultant. I help businesses grow 300%. Here’s my card. When can we book a call?
Person A: Uh… maybe later.
What happened? No curiosity. No connection. Immediate pitch.
Version 2 – Collaborative / Relationship Approach
Person A: Hi, nice to meet you. What do you do?
Person B: I help businesses with marketing systems. But I’m curious — what projects are you working on right now?
Person A: I’m trying to attract more local clients.
Person B: That’s exciting. What’s been working so far?
Person A: Referrals mostly.
Person B: Referrals are gold. If you ever want, I can share a couple of low-cost ideas that help referrals multiply. No pressure — just tools.
Person A: I’d actually love that.
What happened? Interest → Conversation → Trust → Invitation.
Why This Matters for Promotions, Positions & Growth
Opportunities don’t always come from résumés. They often come from relationships.
The people who advance are rarely the loudest sellers. They are often the ones who:
listen well
ask thoughtful questions
remember details
make others feel important
offer value at the right moment — not the first moment
When others feel heard, they remember you. When they remember you, they recommend you.
Simple Guidelines to Carry Into Every Room
Connection before correction. Relationship before revenue. Ask before you offer. Diagnose before you prescribe.
This mindset doesn’t slow sales down — it speeds them up, because instead of pushing, you are being invited.
Reflection Question for the Week
Before your next introduction, pause and ask:
“Am I trying to get something right now… or am I trying to understand first?”
That small question often determines whether a conversation ends quickly — or opens a door you didn’t even know was there.
Until next week!
Penny
P.S. If you’d like a simple way to start better conversations, I’ve put together a free download on my website with Bob’s 10 Feel-Good Networking Questions to help get the dialogue flowing naturally.
P.P.S. Drop in and see us at Think Bigger Friday (7 am online) with our guest speaker Vidhi Khaitan — helping overwhelmed professionals save time, boost productivity, and leverage AI with confidence. Ex-Google. Ex-Pinterest. Real-world systems, not theory.
